T-Minus Two Days: The Kennedy "Stay-cation"

This morning I met the First Family. They seem like a decent bunch of folks. Actually, I can't wait to move in with them on Tuesday. You see, I've been staying with Ted Kennedy (temporarily) until all my arrangements are squared away at the White House. That day can't come fast enough!
For the past week, Kennedy has had me up until 3 a.m. doing tequila shots and listening to his scratchy old Jimmy Buffet LPs. He's been making me wear this ridiculous lei (see photo) for the past three days. And you thought Spuds MacKenzie was a party animal. This morning's hangover was outta control. Forget dog breath—I had the worst case of Cuervo mouth north of the border. Kennedy suggested a little "hair of the dog" to heal my ails, but I stuck it out with a few bites of Beneful and a couple of Alka-Seltzers. Obama family, come get me already! By the way, friends, if I get any scoop on Chappaquiddick you'll be the first to know! Bark at ya later, Bo